I’ll be honest, I had a hard time thinking about how to write this one.
First, I was going to get all preachy with quotes about the impact that fathers and sons have on each other, then I was going to start off with “nothing is harder than losing a child” and lastly, I was going to do a small bio and take quotes from friends.
It was basically just a bunch of ideas, none of which I could really go anywhere with.
But then I realized who it was I was writing about and decided to scrap all of that because if Jake and Jerry Brice knew I was writing some sob story about them, they would kick my ass.
I know what you’re probably asking yourselves. “Mike, who the hell are Jake and Jerry Brice?!?!”
Well, to sum it up, Jake and Jerry Brice were two of the bravest, funniest, smartest, nicest and greatest guys I ever knew. They were two people who dealt with more hardship in their respective 17 & 58 years, than most deal with in 100.
Most people, myself included, will complain whenever they get a cold or a parking ticket or have to deal with the horrors of when your waitress forgets your salad, while Jake had two open heart surgeries (before the age of 5), a heart transplant, a brain tumor and leukemia, and Jerry lived his whole life as a type 1 diabetic, suffered a heart attack, had both of his legs amputated and suffered the loss of a son. I never heard either complain once. So yeah, in retrospect, forget the salad.
First off let’s go back to 2002.
I was in first grade and I met a kid named Jake Brice, who at first really didn’t stand out to me. In fact, I didn’t really like him initially because he was too, how do you say, “cool”. He seemed to have an easier time fitting in at school, with friends, girls, etc. and I was sort of just automatically intimidated by that kind of person since I wasn’t exactly captain of the football team.
But, it didn’t take me long to realize that he and I had a lot more in common than I had initially thought. Mostly our love and knowledge of movies.
It was Halloween of ’02, and Spider-Man had hit the big screen that year, which meant that we both, being the movie buffs that we were, dressed up as Spidey.
Somewhere on this planet there is a picture of this, but alas its whereabouts are still a mystery. Never the less, this allowed us to start a conversation with each other.
Shortly after Halloween, I learned about Jake’s backstory with his heart surgeries and his love of film and the rest was history.
Jake was probably the only person I could talk to about virtually anything. He and I both had sisters, so for us, we filled in the brothers position with each other.
He and I had our fights and we could annoy each other to our boiling points, as it is with brothers, but we always knew we loved each other and had each-others backs when it was most necessary. Even so far as to put ourselves in these horribly awkward and uncomfortable positions to help the other one, which yes we did on several occasions.
In the beginning, Jerry and I only had the relationship of him being my best friend’s dad. He coached my little league team three years in a row. Needless to say, Jake was always on the team, but that was mostly it. The thing about Jerry though, was he was the kind of guy that could basically make friends with anyone, even if you didn’t like him (though I never met anyone who didn’t). You couldn’t help but be amused by his very deadpan personality and jokes. In fact, it’s how he made his living. Jerry was a comedian and comedy writer who wrote for some big names like John Mulaney and Anthony Jeselnick. I never went to go see him perform, since his act was described to me as “too raunchy” not that I probably wasn’t already saying things that were 10 times worse than whatever I could have guessed he said.
Other than the occasional run ins, I didn’t know Jerry that well. To be perfectly honest, I was a little intimated by him. Not that he was a scary guy, not at all, but as I said earlier I was a nervous kid and I didn’t love being around adults, and to be perfectly honest he sometimes yelled at Jake, because Jake liked to, how do I put it, “push his limits” and I think Jerry could only take so much.
Jake’s health problems were never really talked about between the two of us. Sometimes he would mention his surgery, or show me his scar, and on a couple of occasions he had to go to the hospital for certain issues but even during our visits it wasn’t the most relevant thing to talk about. “Hey listen I know you’re hooked up to a heart monitor and an IV and you’re 8 but did you see that episode of SpongeBob last Saturday? It was hilarious!!!”
When we were in 5th grade, however, things changed. Jake had to get a heart transplant because his heart “grew to the size of a football” and nearly killed him.
After his transplant, Jake became a legend in our school. Our elementary school had a “Welcome Back” celebration done like in the style of seeing a veteran come back from Fallujah. Nobody really knew what to expect him to be like when he came back. I mean how many people lived a period of time without their heart in their body, let alone a 10-year-old kid?! Well, wouldn’t you know it, he was the same kid he always was. Funny, bright, mature and most of all with a reaffirmed life.
I won’t say it was like this big “Blessing in disguise” type of ordeal. He didn’t find Christ but I saw a change. It matured him in a way I haven’t even seen in most adults.
While Jake healed, Jerry was fighting his own battle. His diabetes developed into an infection in his left leg and he relied on the use of crutches to walk. After his own short struggle, Jerry had no choice but to have his leg amputated. I remember when I spoke to Jake about it, he told me how much better spirits his dad was in, and how he felt better and was happier.
The Brice family had dealt with, and conquered another huge hurdle. But, Jake’s health went south again.
In 2010, he developed a type of cancer called Post Transplant Lymphoproliferative Disorder (PTLD) that led to a Brain Tumor caused by the medication he was taking for his surgery. Apparently, this is a very uncommon type of complication that can emerge in transplant patients but Jake, once again, was caller number 5.
This tumor was another long, very uncomfortable road for my friend. He lost all of his hair and caused what seemed like a mini stroke that lead to a limp in his walk and weakened the use in his left hand. But, like with the transplant, Jake surprised us all and pulled through and more importantly, never lost that spark.
In a very strange and almost tragic sense, Jake’s recovery was probably the best time of my life with him and the strongest our friendship had ever been.
Jake and I would talk for hours about practically nonsense in our own little language. We could make noises and the other would crack up. It was also the first time we began talking about the thing that most young teenage boys with their hormones flowing through them discuss; THE LADIES!!! We both had our crushes and made our moves but on paper our failure records were far greater than I prefer to say.
More importantly though, it was the first time we could really open up.
We spoke about things we never even knew how to talk about in the past and IF (a word I don’t use lightly) a day came where we didn’t speak to each other, we made up for it the next day by never shutting up with each other.
His presence just made me feel better because I knew no matter what was happening or going to happen to me, I had my wing-man on stand-by to pull me through.
Life wasn’t perfect but High School was nearing the legendary Senior Year and we were both getting ready for our futures and ours was headed for Hollywood. Well ok maybe not Hollywood but we were definitely planning on making it big in movies.
We had a slate of movie ideas planned and were hoping to follow in the footsteps of Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the creators of South Park. The only problem was, we didn’t have the money, resources or connections to do that so easily, so we were just planning on winging it. Not that we didn’t know the strange directions life takes you and weren’t thinking about how we would have to basically just hope we were the lucky ones who dreamed about show business and ended up going in and tearing the place down. Whatever was to happen, we both knew one thing for sure which reminds me of something huge we said to each other shortly before August 19, 2013, “Whatever happens, we’re always gonna be friends.”
In July of 2013, after a routine checkup detected something off in Jake’s blood, he was back in the hospital and a week later he was diagnosed with Leukemia. The day of his diagnosis, my parents and I went to visit him in the city. His outward perspective as a 16-year-old kid with cancer was what one would expect you to act like after you rear end somebody; minor annoyance but whatever.
We continued to text each other every day and even got to see each other on his 17th birthday when we went to visit him in the hospital. It was a fun day and as I was leaving I hugged him and said I’d see him next time. I honestly couldn’t remember the last time I hugged him, maybe it was the circumstances, maybe it was the fact that everyone else seemed to be doing it, or maybe it was just simply because it was his birthday. Either way it was different for me and now I’m so grateful for that simple stupid hug because it was the last time I ever saw him.
We continued to text but I never made my way back into the city, since we had planned to meet up once he came home.
On August 17, 2013, he was discharged and on his way home. We texted about what we were watching, me Austin Powers in Goldmember and him Football. The next day, a Sunday, his all-time favorite movie was on TV; Pulp Fiction. My phone was dead and I was too lazy to charge it and text him that it was on. I was lying next to my dog, Riley, and just figured I would tell him about it the next day.
Well along came the next day, and Jake collapsed at home and was placed on a heart-lung machine for four days until passing away on August 22, 2013, at 17. That was it, it was that quick.
His body just quit and we all lost the greatest person I ever knew. To this day, that week still haunts me and I know it will forever.
That night, almost all of our High School took to Facebook to pay their respects and a week later, at his service, the only thing missing was a camera crew. The funeral home was so crowded that they had to start viewing hours about 20 minutes early and the line from the room to outside didn’t die down until after almost an hour.
Needless to say, senior year of High School was a trainwreck. I honestly don’t really remember it more than just showing up, going home and spending all day in my room. The whole experience was the worst thing that ever happened to me and I really couldn’t think of anything good to come from it except that maybe it allowed me feel closer to Jerry.
Not that it was this immediate kinship we had with each other. It took time, but when I found writing and needed a friend to help me along, I went to Jerry. I was terrified at first because we hadn’t really ever spent that much time together but it didn’t take long for us to hit it off and before I knew it, I felt more comfortable with him than most people my own age.
We talked about Jake, but it was never sad, it was only our best memories and our talks about movies, writing, etc. and once again I had another great friend.
But, I guess in my own selfishness I didn’t think about just how Jerry was dealing with Jake’s loss. The truth is, Jerry, as one never should, had never really gotten over his son’s passing.
In July 2019, Jerry had to go and get another amputation for his other leg. In typical Brice Men fashion, his difficulty was dealt with humor. When I asked if he was alright his response still puts a smile on my face, “My Soccer game took a hit but I’m alright.”
Jerry was Jake and Jake was Jerry. They were quick, funny, caring and most amazingly, brave.
To honor Jake’s memory, Jerry formed something called the Jacob Brice Memorial Fund (JBMF), which every year hosted a golf outing to honor Jake. We all sucked at golf but did it every year and had a blast, as was to be expected with anything Jerry was involved in.
Despite all of this, Jerry never got passed Jake because they were what a father and son should be. Jake worshiped his father and Jerry adored his son and they were so proud of each other as friends as much as they were as father and son.
On March 14, 2020, Jerry passed away. It was unexpected and we all were devastated.
The only bit of “comfort” was the thought that they were finally back together and were happy again.
On the outside, Jake and Jerry were just two guys. You hear about all of these people who get the titles of “heroes” because they wear a badge or save a cat from falling out of a tree, but Jake and Jerry were the pure definition of heroes because they never complained or blamed anyone for their issues. They dealt with them and made us laugh along the way. They made life better, my life was and always will be better because I was able to have them in it.
After Jake’s transplant, he was able to make a short film talking about his journey,
The whole short features interviews with both Jake and Jerry and it ends with them fist bumping and walking off into the distance together and that is the shot that sticks in my mind. Two legends just walking side by side forever.
I can see why you experienced such a love and brotherhood with Jake. He sounds like an extraordinary warrior, soul and person. What a heartwarming tribute, Mike. It really makes one forget about the trivial frustrations of "salad" and remember life's fragility. Great blog post.