Today I want to write about something different. Instead of me going off on some rant about the issues happening in the world, and my perspective on them, I want to get a little “Tony Robbins” (minus the con job).
Recently I went through what, for the sake of this discussion, we’ll just refer to as a “personal crisis.” It got me to thinking about a question: Why do we create timelines for ourselves?
I was talking to a friend of mine, and she mentioned that we always create timelines, even if we don’t realize it. The timeline I’m talking about is: “Where do I see myself in ten years?”
We plan to have the perfect job right out of college, be married by the time we’re thirty, and have kids by thirty-five; all the while ignoring the fact that life is full of random events, and obstacles we can never foresee, that often end up putting a wrench in our plans. Then we’re out of college working some crappy job, unmarried and childless, maybe even feeling like we failed.
Well, if anyone reading this here today has ever had that happen to them, I’m here to say, BULLSHIT!!!
I hate that “ten years” question because it’s putting way too much pressure on ourselves. Yeah, it would be great to have it all figured out in ten years, but come ten years and we’re still working at it, does that mean we failed?
I’m starting to learn that life is not some preordained plan. Yes, having goals and things to look forward to is important, but at the same time, we need to also realize that just because we aren’t where we thought we’d be, it doesn’t mean that we won’t get there. Or better yet, that where we are isn’t already a better place.
This “personal crisis” was a real blow to me. I won’t get into specifics, but let’s just say, something I had planned, and wanted to happen, did not. While at first it made me want to dig a hole in the backyard and jump into it, after some introspection, I walked away from it all having learned two things:
Life’s a journey, and I still have a long way to go.
It’s ok to still be searching.
It’s not easy getting that reality check, but it is freeing when you realize that it’s ok to make mistakes and feel vulnerable. Allow yourself to feel failure and embrace it. Every success story I have ever heard started with multiple failures.
My grandpa Al used to always tell my mom and her sisters, whenever they needed a boost, “Come on kid!” Well, I don’t know if anyone reading this needs to hear it, but if you do, I’m saying, “Come on kid!”
Don’t allow life to dictate how you should be feeling. Just do what you do, and do your best at it! It may not get you where you thought, but it may just get you where you belong!
Such an important message and good reminder, Mike. Thank you for sharing 🙏🏻